"Ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is responsibility."

This statement struck me when I read it. It struck me as the most succinct way to phrase something I have been pondering lately.

I have come to a deep and unsettling realization over the last year that people have a proclivity to compartmentalize what they know, or rather what they choose to know and/or understand. When people are confronted with something that has not been "their reality" and then ask "Why would I want to know?", they have made a choice, but is it a God honoring one?  Do they willfully ignore what others tell them, and the fall-out of the truth that is clearly and publicly seen, or do they pursue more knowledge of the situation in order to be aware of it's true nature so their thoughts and actions will be informed?

I submit that many, even those who claim Christ,  will choose ignorance over responsibility. Ignorance requires nothing, knowledge and truth, on the other hand, are not passive. Knowledge often must be coupled with action.  They require something from the one who possesses them as they become aware of them. Knowing the right thing to do comes pretty easily- it is not a hard matter. However doing what is right, the application of principles and knowledge, is not often easy.

In scripture we are admonished to actively pursue truth. There are many references to truth in the bible underscoring how important it is to God, but I will speak to one specifically.

• Proverbs 23:23 states "Buy the truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding." (ESV)

The Bible Knowledge Commentary states:

• "Buying the truth suggests spending whatever energy or financial resources are necessary to acquire truth, along with wisdom, discipline and understanding."

The Believer's Bible Commentary states:

• "We should be willing to pay a great price for truth, but unwilling to sell it for any consideration. The same goes for wisdom and instruction and understanding. We should spare no pains to acquire them, but never surrender them for anything in this world."

I will bring this back to a personal situation. Earlier this year my husband got in trouble with his employer (a Christian institution) for speaking the truth to the church about several situations where they had violated ethics and Godly principles. Great problems arose when my husband spoke up after well over a year of trying to speak with the administration about these violations. There existed no avenue to bring things to anyone other than the President- and it is well known one needs to stay on his "good side" if they desire to keep their job. Dissent is not tolerated- one must speak only well, or suffer the consequences.

When my husband's letter came to the attention of the President my husband was immediately banned from campus and his office- with 6 weeks of classes and his contract left. (Banning him from his office was in violation of the law which states my husband had every right to his belongings.) A 24-hour armed guard was placed outside of his office door, the lock changed and his work computer was removed. A few days later we were granted two hours to remove "the things you need immediate access to". We were not fooled- we removed everything that belonged to us in his office and studio. My husband was very clear from the beginning that he hoped to keep this a matter for the church to deal with. He refused any interview by the local paper, the denominational paper, and local bloggers that requested them.

What ensued over the next few months was literal hell, all at the hands of those who profess Christ and who's actions are to be ruled by mercy and love, according to scripture.

• The President of my husband's institution sent a total of three letters before my husband's contract was up- in two of them threatening to cut his pay and benefits if he did not sign saying that he was "dishonest, in breach of contract, and insubordinate". Since my husband was none of the above- he refused to be pressured by financial considerations. Truth was more important than financial exigency. The third letter was the same as the previous two, only it told him that if he refused to sign, his pay and benefits would be cut off in a matter of hours from the deadline.  He refused to sign, and the institution did, indeed cut off his benefits and pay , curiously, this was effective the day before the accrediting agency was due to visit. They violated the law by breaching the contract that was still in effect. 
• They were forced to retract those actions after our lawyer reminded them that they had violated their own faculty handbook as there was no provision for immediate dismissal.
•  A lawyer you say? Aren't you Christians? Why did you involve a lawyer? Simply put- we were forced to due to the institutions complete dishonesty and total disregard for their own institutional policies which they were violating left and right. The church (who happens to own the institution) did nothing to hold them accountable. 
• Nine days before my husband's contract was due to expire and well over a month after this all began- the institution decided to try and have him dismissed through hearings. Nine days- and he was not contracted to come back the next year anyways. It was purely vindictive on their part. The truth had come out and my husband was going to pay. 
• The 'hearings' convene. On the first day the colleges lawyer was present acting in an advisory capacity. She was advising the Advisory Committee- and all parties as to procedure. Sounds fishy you say? Absolutely. Ethically she had no place acting in an advisory capacity to any other than her client- the President of the college who was the one bringing the trumped up charges. Curiously- the Advisory committee was to render an impartial decision and then advise the President of the institution what they thought he should do. Yes- you noted correctly above- that was the same President who was bringing the 'charges'. Rigged? Yep. Further, the school's attorney was determining how the proceedings would transpire. Instead of the President making a case and my husband having the ability to then answer, they had concocted some odd procedure that forced my husband to go first. It was said, by their lawyer, to be in the form of an appellate hearing. My Father-In-Law (a former appellate court judge) was astonished when we spoke to him afterwards. You see appellate hearings are not the first step in proceedings- they are to follow the initial proceeding.  The school was not only violating their own written policies, but also violating my husbands rights to due process. It was a mess. 
• It was clear to our lawyer that legal action needed to be taken to protect my husband and a restraining order was filed by us. We did not know that a restraining order would be the filing of a lawsuit. What we did know was that it was an end-game move on our part. We were granted a 10 day restraining order by the judge who agreed that egregious violations were taking place. My husband's contract ended in 9 days. We were sooo done and happy to walk away at that point which was clearly communicated to the institution and their lawyer.
• According to the faculty handbook faculty members can testify on behalf of other faculty. The one faculty member who would step forth on behalf of my husband did not have her contract renewed even after she had received an exemplary evaluation that year and a letter promising a contract. 
• A couple of weeks later we were quite surprised to discover that the institution had filed to move the case, which we'd communicated we were dropping to Federal Court. "What on earth???", was our response. They had hired a firm in a larger nearby city to represent them and were requesting we pay their legal fees and the $500 we had put up as security for the restraining order against them. Again- purely vindictive- trying to make us pay in any way they could manage.
• Long story short- the institution drops what is now their case- after the Federal judge convenes a conference call asking their counsel if they are really sure they desire to continue as it's the smallest set of damages he's ever seen requested in a case in his years as a Federal judge.  

You might be wondering what the point of the above narrative is. It is this:

• We are not to sell the truth. We are to purchase it by any resources/means necessary, even if it comes at great personal cost.

In our situation we are left at an odd spot. A spot I wish we were not. We have seen first-hand the depths to which people will ignore truth because the cost is greater than they wish to pay, financially, personally, professionally or politically. We are in a small community. The institution has significant reach within it. We have seen person after person reflect the saying told to us by the one above that our situation "is not my reality", so I really am not interested in what you are saying. I'll admit- I am still confounded by that response. The proof of what we have experienced is available to any (in the form of multiple documents) who care to take an honest look at the situation. The problem is there has been precious little seeking after truth. Someone recently told me that "As long as the music is good on Sundays. people don't care." I have found that to be true, at it fills me with great sadness.

Someone told my husband that the problem was that he (my husband) wanted him (the other person) to agree with him. That person could not have missed the point by any wider of a margin. It was not about agreement- it was about one's responsibility to seek the truth and seek understanding even if it challenges one's currently held perceptions. Humility, honesty and faith require discernment.

The truth is a whole, a constant. "Cherry-picking" certain aspects mis-represents it, just as the Serpent's statements in the garden mis-represented God's words to Adam and Eve.

As people of faith we are told that "by their fruit ye shall know them"- them being they who are truly Christ's. 

There is a world out there that is watching. They are well versed in what we claim as our operating principles, often much better versed than we are. If you claim Christ and even shout His name loudly within the community, the onlookers will be sure to hold you to that standard. Everyone fails at points, we are human. It happens. A refusal to be transparent and look honestly at ourselves and admit our faults and failures destroys our witness and we will be held accountable one day.

It's not about how you look, it's about who you are. In my opinion, the church needs to reassess itself. If our 'image' is more important than truth- then we are missing the point. Entirely. 

As I mentioned there has been great cost to us in this whole situation. It's been emotionally exhausting and we still owe gobs of money to our lawyer and have experienced little emotional support from within our church which has left me with multiple questions and concerns about how the church at-large functions. That said -there have also been great rewards such as total reliance upon God as we continue to pray for a job for my husband.

Matthew 6:25- 34 has long been a favorite passage of mine and now I get the joy of practicing it. :) Life is about much more than what you have, it's about who you are, first and foremost before God.

Financially speaking, we are at a perilous juncture, but  I am continually reminded of Philippians 4:11 where Paul  states "....I have learned  in  whatever situation I am to be content." I can honestly say that I've not been consumed with worry about our future. I can assure you- it's only by the grace of God that I can say that.  I've no clue where our future may lead, and I haven't really worried about it. I choose to trust in Him. 

I have all I need for today and faith requires that I need not concern myself past that.





*Title quote courtesy of  Eden Foods, Inc. from "Clean Eating" magazine.

20 Years of Memories with my Love

Twenty years ago, I began dating my best friend. We weren't always best friends, though. We met our Freshman year in High School and frankly I tried dodging his witty remarks that were lobbed my direction. He was far more adept at wit than I was at avoidance. :)

These are our Senior Portraits- taken just after we began dating- proof I have actually had hair. ;)

(Click on any photo to enlarge.)

It's weird to think we now have a son who is a Senior. Wow.

We attended Prom together.

We sang The Star Spangled Banner together at our graduation in 1991.

Just over a year later we were married on November 7th, 1992.

Children began to arrive.

This past summer we just celebrated our 20th High School Reunion. 

I think it's worked out alright. :)

Don't get me wrong- we've had our rough patches and even a time when we were not sure if our marriage would survive, but by the grace of God and the loving support of those who cared for us, it did... and it's flourished. We have grown up together, we have learned how to love each other. We are still learning.

I'd do it all over again- in a heart-beat.

My weekend project.

So glad to be nearly done. :) The closet doors have been primed, yet still await paint. I love the color! It is a grey/blue (Sherwin-Williams "Sleepy Blue") which provides a very nice backdrop for the lighter furniture in particular. It sure beats the former white which was peeling in a few spots revealing a sickly yellow underneath. I'm so glad for the ONE coat of primer needed vs. the three coats the girls room (2x's the size!) required on walls and ceiling.

I'm still waiting for enough inspiration to tackle the master bedroom. The former owners painted over the not-so-lovely oil based Pepto-Bismol pink that covered all moldings and built-ins/closet doors with a much preferred white. Only the white is latex. Can you guess what it looks like now? Yep- like it's been bombed. (Is this where I mention that pink is certainly NOT one of my favorite colors?) Dh and I had the Master bedroom assigned a week this past summer, however, a family emergency requiring 6 of dh's weeks took priority. Hopefully we will be able to work on it during Christmas break. :)

Yes, she's one...and yes...it's a new generation of...

Facebook users. They start young these days. JUST KIDDING!! ;)

This is what happens when mom steps away from the computer even though she had turned off the screen. Teigen turned it on, and managed to get a video playing from Mom's news feed. She was very pleased.

My husband says I can be a tad obsessive.

He may be right. ;)

When I get an idea I tend to run with it ...with all I have... until completion. On Monday I had no thoughts about planting or landscaping ANYthing. It's Friday and here I sit- mission completed, and some. Now I need my husband to make some sweet tea so I can go sit on my porch with a good book. I now find it much more inviting to do so with the new colors and wonderful winged visitors- NOT the biting kind!

We had plants die due to the unusually frigid winter resulting in gaps left in the planting beds. No plants, plenty of dirt. Then the dogs decided they would dig in said dirt. I was not thrilled. Dirt all over my porch (winding up inside) is not my kind of living.

Here are some before and after shots.

These next two shots inverted somehow and I don't care enough to try and change it. LOL. It has been scorching hot and I'm tired folks!

The bushes seen below were azelea's that were as old as the hills and a major chore to dig up. They were not pretty to look at and required far too much trimming. My wonderful husband got busy with the pick axe (the one he chided me for buying a few weeks ago ;) ) I got busy with the shovel and we uprooted the buggers.

Notice the plant at the corner of the house? It WAS an oleander. Like who's idea was it to put a plant with ginormous potential smack next to the house and UNDER the eaves? I'm still scratching my head on that one. You can't really see it, but I now have a lovely hydrangea bush in the oleander's place. It was an easy choice as Hydrangeas are one of my favorite plants and I'm allergic to oleanders. :)

The border at this point is recycled brick found in the yard when we moved in. In the above pic there is still 'monkey grass' to be dug up in front of the brick, but it'll do for now. I'm sure I'll be digging soon as I had to buy several more Mexican Heather plants than I needed. I know right where they need to go...

I survived!! ;)

Ok, actually I did enjoy this last week of assisting my friend, Sharon, in a Kindergarten VBS class. It was certainly tiring but well worth it. Once the chaos of Tuesday passed with increased enrollment and children shifting classes to accommodate the numbers it was smooth sailing.

A blessing is that our mechanic is located right across the street from our church, so 3 of the 5 days of VBS the car was across the street having various things dealt with. The van just rolled past 100,000 miles and we need it to keep running well for at least that many more miles. :) It was a definite blessing that the thumping heard when the car was put into reverse turned out to not be a transmission problem, but rather a broken engine mount. Like how does an engine mount wind up broken on a minivan anyways? I had wondered if it was the result of the accident in which I was rear-ended last September. The impact was enough to require the installation of a new hatch on the rear, so perhaps it affected the mount?? I have no clue. It's not like it's a souped up racing machine- lol. :)

This being Saturday morning after a long week, I have hoped to sleep in a bit, but due to 2 sweet little morning glory's with internal alarm clocks it was not to be so. So I went out and took a few photos instead. Here are a couple favorites of a Cana flower. I find I have to let photos sit on my computer for a time before I revisit them to see how much I ultimately like them, but here are my favorites of the AM based upon first impressions.

I like the idea of taking photo's of people as I certainly have several to choose from, but they largely refuse to indulge me...or stay still. Nature is much more accomodating. :)

Visitor

My husband said goodbye, put his earbuds in his ears, put his helmet on and went out to his bike to go to work. I was doing important things- like checking Facebook. :) Before I knew it he was honking from the driveway. Repeatedly. I got up to see why he was honking. He pointed down to the driveway and there I saw a visitor... of the reptilian sort.

The kids really enjoyed seeing a turtle. I moved him to the backyard so I could put him (her?) near the bayou which is a more fitting habitat for such critters than a cement driveway. :) Now if I were only saavy enough with Blogger to intersperse pics and words how and where I want them. ~sigh~

Inner Workings

It has been a whirlwind week here. I've not gone anywhere, really. I've pretty much only gone shopping for necessities- like food. The children kept saying there was nothing to eat around these parts, so I decided to humor them. :)

I have spent the week organizing my abode. It has been kind of odd- in a nice way. :) The odd part comes in the fact that I'm not going through things as I'm packing boxes and preparing for a move. Packing boxes has been my stand-by way of organizing/thinning out items. You see - our family's move into this house was our 15th move in 15 years- all averaged out. I could like not moving. :) In a few months we'll have lived here longer than we've lived anywhere since we've been married. We've been married for nearly 18 years.

My foray into all crevices of the house began with an innocuous event. Free bunk beds. I like free. I really like free. What a blessing and an answer to prayer! They were immediately designated for the boys room as it is the smaller of the 2 children's rooms. But- work had to be done. To set up the bunks I had to remove the mattress our 7yo was sleeping on and the captains bed our 17yo has had for eons. The captain's bed moved to the girl's room for our 14 yo as we needed more drawer space for the girls...and as an extra blessing to me- dd cannot shove all manner of things (or anything!) under her bed. :) This thrills me to no end!

So the captain's bed moved to the girls room. Mine and my husband's dressers moved to the boys room, and we were able to ditch the inefficient dresser our 7yo had. (I loved the old dresser/desk combo- but I loved it much more before ds took a scalpel from older ds's dissection kit to it. ~sigh~ ) My dh had the brilliant idea to give the boys our dressers and buy ourselves dressers we liked and that better reflected our taste. Since I was dealing with beds and clothing in the boys room and mine- I decided why stop there? I moved onto the cabinet where the boys store all manner of personal items. After measuring the boys cabinet I took a trip to Wal-Mart and found plastic storage bins (that all matched in lid color and shape!) to allow for more efficient storage compared to the few bins they already had. I made sure to buy bins that all have hinged lids so the lids could always be found. :) I love the results!

Getting things organized and cleaned out in the boys room was such a treat I decided- why stop there? On I went to the 3 hall closets, the 2 entry closets, and all of the kitchen drawers. Somewhere in the midst of this I also organized every.single book we have. Replacing the dressers in my room necessitated the removal of a bookcase (Yay! More clutter banished!) in order for the new dressers to fit. I had to order new curriculum for next year for the younger children which required space ...and all the books were a disaster anyways.

And then... then there was the matter my desk. ~sigh~ It took 2 days- but it is now cleaner and more organized than it's been since the baby (who is now 1.5 yo) arrived. I feel invigorated! A cluttered house and desk make for a cluttered mind. I'm beginning to think I was more 'snowed under' with the arrival of our 5th child than I realized. The fog is beginning to lift! I see sunshine peeking through! And it's lovely. :)

The amazing ways God works...

A little over a week ago I was at home continuing about my daily routine much as I am doing now. Just taking one day at a time- trying to keep up on laundry, feeding the family, and all the other daily chores that can become monotonous. I then received an e-mail one morning sent very late the previous night by my parents. My uncle, who was well advanced in age and had been ailing, had passed away.

It was very important to me to be at the funeral for my aunt's sake as she has cared for and loved me and my family so faithfully over the years. My aunt has been a continual presence in my life ever since I can remember and she has been ever present in the life of my children and husband- never failing even once to send a birthday card to any one of us.

I put in a call to my father-in-law inquiring if he might by chance have a spare frequent flier ticket that he would be willing to pass on to me thus allowing me (and my under 2yo daughter) to fly to the funeral. I was in luck as he said he did have one and graciously gave it to me. The first of several blessings.

No more than 2 days later I was to fly with my daughter T. My husband drove us with our other 2 young children in tow 3 hours to the airport and dropped us off about 7AM. Just after my daughter and I had cleared security I saw one of the car seats that becomes a stroller and thought how cool they are...then... I panicked. I had forgotten the car seat in the van and my husband had taken off already for the return home! I called him and after a nerve-wrecking half hour or so I retrieved the car seat from him and sprinted towards security...again. I was very fortunate to make it through quickly enough to allow just enough time to grab some food to take aboard the flight. The 1st flight was not crowded and I was thrilled to have a row to ourselves as T had never flown before...and I was tired. :)

From Houston our flight to LAX was to be full. They announced that it was to be a totally full flight- and I inwardly groaned. Since it is impossible to exit a tin can hurtling 100's of miles an hour at 35,000 feet or more- I was praying for seat-mates who would tolerate T. well. Just as I finished sending up the bullet prayer a gentleman asked if I minded if he sat in the aisle seat. Then a woman came and sat in the middle seat...for about 2 seconds and then she moved. Then the crew announced that we were departing. But what had happened to the full flight with several on 'standby'? I did not know nor did I care- T had her own seat! I was ecstatic! Later upon passing us by- a flight attendant remarked that I had lucked out because 2 people had decided to take a later flight. Our seat-mate turned out to be quite pleasant and helped to entertain T. when needed. It was fantastic. The Lord heard my plea and answered above and beyond what I had hoped for.

Upon landing I was picked up by a good friend I had not seen since we left NYC. She now lived in L.A. with her husband and was expecting her 1st child. We stayed the night with her and it was a joy to visit and meet her husband and see where she lived. They then graciously drove me to where my uncle's funeral was- which was a couple hours drive.

I had not seen my family for about 3 years and they had not met T. While the funeral was a sober and sad event, it had the silver lining of not only seeing my aunt and immediate family- but of rooming with and visiting a lot with my cousin whom I had not seen in years. It was such a blessing and a joy getting to know her on a much deeper level and to talk into the wee hours!

The day after the funeral another friend of mine, Angi, who just happened to be in L.A. picked me up from the funeral location and drove me back (another couple of hours) to where she was staying with a friend of hers. She had 'put out there' that it might work out for me to be a second driver for her on her return trip home to Mississippi. I decided to take her up on the offer which as she tells really wound up being a big help to her. I spent one day running around L.A. with her and her 2 son's as her eldest son had some appointments on their final day in CA. The next morning we loaded up in her car and began driving home.

It took two days to travel from L.A. to my house with 2 moms, a 15yo, a 2yo and a 1.5yo in tow. It got a bit wild at times. :) It got a bit crazy- but it was all good. It was exhausting, but well worth it for the experience... and the company.

I am still in total awe at how the Lord took mourning and turned it into joy by reuniting old friends, allowing new bonds with family, and even throwing in some crazy adventure all out of the simple desire to be present and minister to my aunt at a time of great sorrow.

The Lord is good...all the time.

And then there was one.

Tooth, that is.

I had been thinking I needed to get a photo of my baby boy, M, (who happens to be 7) before he lost his two front teeth that have been loosening. I did a wiggle test and figured I had enough time to get my camera back from having the sensors cleaned. I lost that gamble.

We were at church tonight. I was in the service, my husband, R, was with said 7yo on the playground. Suddenly I find myself being summoned to the foyer by my husband while hearing whimpering from the foyer I believe to be emanating from my son. As I exit the sanctuary I see my baby sitting on a chair, crying, with a wad of paper towels up to his mouth. Poor R did not know that his 2 front teeth were loose already, neither did he realize how far back his two permanent bottom teeth had grown in. (He'll need braces in a few years for the crowding.) So R was pretty concerned.

We went about the motions of ice, tylenol, etc. We were even fortunate to get input from a dentist via phone who said it will look much worse tomorrow. Greeeat.

It turns out that M had jumped down from the top of the spiral slide and when his feet hit the mulch they slid out from under him at which time his mouth connected with the side of the plastic slide. The tooth that was the loosest came out due to the trauma and the other tooth is now considerably less firm. It is not a pretty sight. After the shock that included body shakes and a consult with a nurse who was present wore off and we were home M decided that the other tooth needed to come out as well.

The child apparently does not understand that mom is not ready for not even one much less BOTH front baby teeth to be gone. For with the dispensing of the baby teeth he will become an official "big" kid. ~sigh~

This just goes to show- if you have an idea for a picture that includes an intact boy- move quickly for boys will be boys.